After years of having a little old dog whose only goal in getting on the couch was to curl up and go to sleep, our current situation has taken a little getting used to.
Oh, the three young dogs that inhabit our house now do a little of that. But they also use the furniture for flying leaps from one piece to the other, for wrestling with each other, and for gnawing on an array of plastic bones and balls.
The result is that Jenny had noticed a couple of pulls in the fabric.
“They’re going to ruin our furniture,” she announced one day. “I love this furniture; I’ve always thought it was beautiful.”
Umm, I thought. It seems to me that when we bought it shortly after we were married a dozen years ago, she didn’t like the color, which is predominantly green.
She wanted blue, but we couldn’t find anything in blue that had a thick woven pattern that we thought would be suitable for a dog. She complained about the green, but gave in.
Anyhow, time changes everything, apparently.
Of course, I didn’t say that.
“We already have throws on the furniture; I don’t know what else we can do,” I offered.
“What we need is some slipcovers,” she said.
Only old people have slipcovers, I thought. But I was wrong (or maybe not).
She ordered some.
When we opened the box Saturday, there were two packages inside labeled “SureFit” that looked like sheets, and two packages of vinyl grip strips labeled “TuckOnce.”
When we opened the first slipcover and laid it over the loveseat, it looked like enough material to cover the queen’s throne at Buckingham Palace.
I thought it must be the wrong size, but Jenny assured me pointedly that she had ordered the proper size.
“It says you just start tucking all the excess in around the cushions,” Jenny said.
I kept wadding material in and eventually most of the excess material disappeared into the crevices.
Then we opened the “TuckOnce” package. The instructions said to push the V-shaped strips into the left and right arm crevices on the loveseat and then do the same thing with strips along the back of the cushion.
If the grips are too long, “cut to proper length with a heavy-duty scissor,” the instructions said.
They were. Jenny found they were too tough to cut with scissors, but I managed to shorten them using a butcher knife and a cutting board in the kitchen.
By the time I had managed to put the other cover on the couch and push all the strips as far as possible into the crevices, the sweat was dripping off my nose. I was worn out and my fingers were sore.
“Golly, I’m glad that’s over,” I said. “I wouldn’t want to have to do that again.”
Jenny gave me that look: “You know that when they get dirty, we’ll have to take them off and put them in the washer, don’t you?”
She looked at the expression on my face, got up and spread the throws on top of the new slipcovers.
T. Wayne Mitchell, publisher of the Gazette, can be reached by phone at 662-534-6321 or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.